Grey Bird’s Trip: Part 2

(actually Part 1 — see Star Wars episodes for explanation)

I forgot to mention the excellent time I had in Toronto when going through security. Apparently, they do things a bit differently as compared to our American airport security standards. The guard at the entrance to the x-ray scanning area was getting tired of my aunt beeping everytime she walked through. He finally just put down his beer, picked her up and threw her onto the conveyor belt with all of our carry-ons. He then allowed me come around and stand by him as he watched the x-ray TV monitor and drank his beer. It was quite interesting being able to see all of my aunt’s bones, breast implants and the fillings in her teeth as she went by. He then insisted on personally checking to ensure her implants were real. She was slightly miffed. But I was impressed by his dedication to duty.


  1. I thought Part 2 was episode V. Anyway, what would "fake" implants be? I want to be guard at the Toronto airport. Do you think they will hire Americans?

  2. fake implants would be toxic gas packets meant to implode at high altitudes, once the cabin has been fully pressurized this causes the toxic gas to escape from the mouth of the implant wearer, killing all in sight. — wow, *I* almost believe me…<br><br>they’ll hire you only if you say "aboot" for about and if you can drink beer until your kidneys explode. then they probably won’t even know you’re American, eh?

  3. You too can be a Canadian. Just wear that fucking little red maple leaf flag on everything you own and talk like you’re from Northern Minnesota. Rent the movie "Fargo" for dialog tips.<br>"Oh Jeeze, lady, better let me check those implants, eh?"

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