Misunderstandings and Suprises

Last Saturday I spent most of the afternoon and evening trying to get some work done on a pro-bono website job. This has been a lingering project and I’ve had a tough time being motivated to get over a few hurdles. Mel did some cleaning and then laid down because she still didn’t feel well. (I have been trying to talk her into going to the doctor!) Dinnertime came and went, plans we had made for the day slipped by. It was okay, I thought Mel was sleeping and that I was doing her a favor by letting her get some rest. Maybe the nasty, lingering cold would finally go away. Unbeknownst to me, she was awake the whole time and thinking that she shouldn’t disturb me because I was working.

Finally, at about 10 p.m. she got up and made me aware that my assumptions were in error. This led to unhappy discussions about general lack of communication, not enough ‘us’ time and other things. Then I got a real surprise when she fired up her computer and retrieved my blog from her Favorites to locate an entry that she’d taken exception to. I wasn’t aware that she was reading the blog, although once upon a time I had invited her to read it. At that time she’d declined my offer, so I simply assumed that she would never read my blog. At least, not without telling me. There I go assuming again… doh.

Turns out that her curiosity had gotten the better of her, and since I had previously offered, of course it was okay. Perhaps it was duplicitous by inadmission, but I was mostly just surprised. I have to admit, between freelance jobs, pro bono jobs, blogging, mailing lists, chatting, email and all the other stuff one can do online, I have pretty much left her a computer widow. Yes, I am a true computer addict. She missed me and she wanted to know what’s been going on.

I don’t have anything to hide from her, and certainly not in a public journal. Here is where I think most bloggers walk the fine line between what they write to share and what they don’t. Unless your blog is truly anonymous, with no chance of people you know stumbling across it, you’re better off to leave some topics out. I’ve seen blogs that exist only as a forum for the writer to bitch about their relationship. It certainly isn’t productive as far working things out goes, which might be a better use of the time. It may be cathartic and that’s fine, but I’d be loathe to share it – with anyone.

She didn’t want me to stop blogging, although I offered. We came to other resolutions that I won’t discuss here. She is the love of my life and our relationship is much more important to me than anything I can see on a 19″ screen.


  1. I agree. There’s blogging and there’s real relationships, and when we have troubles in our relationships, it’s better left out of online perpetuity…
    Unless it’s about an ex, and then anything goes!

  2. I know exactly what you mean; this happened to me about a week ago, although, with much dire results; I had to stop putting ANYTHING to do with her into my blog, as we’re going through a divorce, and she was gathering intelligence. Stupid on my part to post emotions and feelings ABOUT it there, but c’est la vie… now I leave that out until things are final.

    Did that make sense, or am I rambling again?

  3. We’re a two-blogger couple, but Lauren and I have promised each other that we won’t blog about anything, complaint-wise, that we haven’t talked about first.

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