It’s Weird

To say goodbye before getting a chance to say hello again. I’m not sure I can explain, but I’m not really sad or upset. Well, maybe a little sad. It’s just strange to attend the funeral of someone that you haven’t seen or talked to in more than twenty years. I didn’t intend to go to the funeral but the service was held in the funeral home directly following the wake on Sunday evening and there was no reason not to stay.

Although I felt strange about going to the wake but Esther was glad to see me. She gave me a big hug and thanked me for coming. She apologized to me for not telling me he was sick. I assured her it was okay and that I understood. (It really was not my business, anyway.) Esther invited me to the front of the room to see Rick. “Is this who you remember?” she asked.

I looked down and saw a thin man with facial hair. I didn’t recognize him, not really. The hair color and some of the features were only a little familiar. I reminded myself he’d been sick and tried to see past it. “Yes, a little, but it’s been twenty years” I said. Esther pulled me over to the picture board. I’ve seen picture boards at a few wakes and think they’re a great idea. It allows those who pay their respects to see the deceased in a way they remember. I pointed to old photos and they made me smile.

Jocelyn was there, too. She said she’d had a feeling I would show up. It’s been almost twenty years since I’ve seen her too. I met her daughter again, now an adult, and the granddaughter who is a stunning, biracial child about 18 months old. Since this wasn’t really an opportunity to talk, I gave her my phone number and said I’d like to catch up sometime.

The service was short and sweet. But, one thing I’ll do is make sure that I request that no one plays my supposed favorite songs at my funeral. Sitting through three songs (Journey, Sarah McLachlan and something else which was incredibly loooong) was three too many. I’d prefer to have that sort of thing saved for a gathering afterwards.

Thanks for all the condolences.


  1. Glad to hear you’re doing well. I also like the poster board of pics idea…sadly, I’ve been to a few funerals in the past few years and they always make me laugh. There’s always that one gawd-awful-funny pic.

  2. well, people are just going to have to deal with listening to ‘funeral for a friend’ at my funeral. that’s just the way it’s going to be.

  3. That was a sweet post. The picture board sounds great. And if it makes people smile – even greater. I don’t think anyone has to apologize for thinking back of good and fun times. Life does go on, so it’s good to remember someone that way. With a smile.

  4. "funeral for a friend/love lies bleeding" then "stairway to heaven" and finishing up with "freebird". Now that’s a long three songs.

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