So Glad to be Gay!

Pursuant to Sub-Section 8, Paragraph C of Executive Branch Classified Directive #13334-P, dated 1 May 2004, the Armed Forces of the United States stand directed by President George W. Bush to accelerate preparations for compulsory induction of the adult non-homosexual population into active combat duty in the War Against Terror.

Henceforth, and in accordance with established Federal conscriptional provisions, all male and female citizens aged 16-45 must register for the impending draft. Each registrant’s personal information will undergo rigorous computer analysis to compile a profile of overall physical, mental, and moral fitness prior to the issuing of orders to report for basic training.

Review the application carefully before completing it. If you’re not gay, you may wish to click on the “Conscientious Objector” link.


6 Responses to “So Glad to be Gay!”

  1. Gina Says:
    May 8th, 2004 at 1:22 am

    Heh. I don’t know…when I was applying to college, the Marines were recruiting me pretty heavy…lol

    I’ll have to check this out…

  2. mike Says:
    May 8th, 2004 at 5:16 am

    shit…

    if they’re depending on me to defend us, we might as well surrender to whatever communists are left…
    ;-)

  3. M. Luminous Says:
    May 8th, 2004 at 2:43 pm

    *laughs* Great link. Thanks. I like that application.

  4. Chari Says:
    May 10th, 2004 at 5:32 pm

    Ok… I have to admit you initially scared the shit out of me.

    The application is hilarious. I love the flying purple unicorn part. Burping rainbows and pooping ruby-encrusted marshmallow flowers… heh.

  5. Mileah Says:
    May 20th, 2004 at 2:28 pm

    That’s hilarious. "Peace is for pussies"

  6. Karen Zipdrive Says:
    June 8th, 2004 at 9:34 pm

    Damn, I was all set to enlist then I read the checklist spot: "Steamy Lezbo Beaver Hoovering & Clam Digging" and had to bow out.