I’ve been struggling with how to refer to my partner in these posts. I can’t not talk about her at all because she is the biggest part of my life. I don’t use her name and most of the names in my blog have been slightly altered to protect, ummm… noone. (I’ve shared this online journal with only two friends because they were both interested in blogging themselves. I doubt either of them would share it with anyone else. Note to friends: If you’re reading this, get moving on writing your blog please!)
I’ve noticed that most other bloggers use labels or initials to refer to their spouse or partner. I’d been using girlfriend for a while, but that seemed immature to me – she’s not a girl – and the term doesn’t really convey the permanency of the relationship. Significant other is formal, lengthy and almost too p.c. Partner is okay, except that it’s hugely overused in the business world and it makes me think of money-related relationships. Wife is okay too, except that it’s a term that unnecessarily conveys gender again and again, as well as possibly implying some traditional role-playing on our parts that, while partially true due to pre-existing interests, I don’t really care to highlight. Most everyone that knows me or reads this journal knows that I’m talking about a lesbian relationship anyway. If we were able to be legally unionized, we would be, but we are not all that keen on ceremony otherwise. Last summer we found really nice matching rings at an art show. Together we decided what they mean to us and we wear them.
So in the end, I’ve decided to refer to her simply as Mel. If she prefers, I’ll use V. or P.C. – I’ll have to ask her.