I’m a little annoyed. In today’s mail there was an invitation to a Tupperware party for next Friday. Not a bad idea, don’t you think, to have a Tupperware party before the holidays so that you could buy some gifts? (That is, if your gift recipients appreciate practical gifts of that type.) The woman giving the party, Nina, is an old friend. More accurately, she was never a primary friend of mine but is really the friend of one of my good friends, and we’ve all known each other since high school. In fact, I’d barely rate our relationship at the acquaintance level now, particularly because our mutual friend, Monique, no longer lives in the area. The last time I remember seeing Nina, I’m guessing, was about 4 years ago when Monique was in town for a visit. Since then, I’d heard she’d married and moved to the suburbs. Neither of us has ever bothered to maintain a friendship independent of Monique.
If Monique was visiting, or if Nina just wanted to get the old gang together for some holiday cheer, I’d be happy to attend. But the Tupperware thing… receiving an invitation like this is usually because the hostess wants you to come and spend money. That’s the idea right? The more people that come, the more money that is (potentially) spent, and the benefits to the hostess are based on the amount sold. I do like Nina, and I’d probably enjoy seeing some of the old gang she likely would have invited, and I might even buy something. The thing is, I don’t believe she really cares about seeing me… I think it’s more about my wallet and that’s the part that’s annoying. At least if this were one of my close friends, I would know that they cared about seeing me and wouldn’t really mind that they benefitted from it.
Another interesting thing is that the invitation was addressed to me and my girlfriend. In fact it was my girlfriend that opened it and asked me “Who the hell is Nina O’Connor?” I didn’t even know until I looked at the address and realized it was in the area that I’d heard Nina moved to and remembered the husband’s last name. Hmmm… Nina has never even met my girlfriend, or even knew of her existence, much less her name. I only moved here 2 years ago, so she wouldn’t have had this address either. I suspect Monique gave her my contact info, and probably outed me in the process. Not that I really care… and I never told her she shouldn’t tell anyone ‘cuz I’m not hiding, but at the same time I’m reminded that most of my straight friends probably don’t know that it’s improper for them out a gay person, friend or not.
Just as a barometer check, I phoned a close friend who I thought would also have been invited.
“Martie, did Nina send you an invite to her Tupperware party?”
“Yeah, I threw the invitation away. Can’t go anyway, my daughter’s school play is that night.”
“Oh. Would you have gone?” (Martie would describe her relationship with Nina in the same way I did.)
“Probably not, but I couldn’t go anyway.” (I can tell she is glad she didn’t really have to make the decision and I know she feels the same way about I do about parties where the main purpose is to sell something.)
“I’m probably not going either, but you were supposed to RSVP.”
“Well, I’m not digging it out of the trash, just tell her I’m not coming when you talk to her.” (Great, thaaanks. The thought had crossed my mind to make Martie do exactly what she was doing to me, she just beat me to it!)
“How do you think that she got my new address, and my girlfriend’s name?”
“No idea, maybe Monique gave it to her. I don’t know how she got my address either.”
Oh well. Now I gotta figure out whether I’ll bother to RSVP…